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Words to Use That Will Attract a Man to You

 Hi, Awesome Single Lady!

If you want to be more attractive to a man, then this post is for you because in it, I am sharing words you can use to draw a man to you.

Maybe you’re asking, “Really? Are words that big of a deal to men?”

Yes, they are a really big deal because the words you use can convey respect to a man—or not—and respect is a core need for men.

Men (Capital M.E.N) have the desire to protect and care for their woman. They want to be seen as competent. They want to be seen as the hero. And, the words you use with your man will either reaffirm that he is your hero and that you really respect him. Or, if you use the wrong words, you will show him that you don’t respect him, and--much to your demise—you will tear down your relationship.

Listen up. This is really important: If a woman doesn’t know how to use words to show respect to a man, she will repel him instead of draw him to her.

In this post, I want to...

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10 Dangerous Reasons Women Fall in Love Too Fast


Hi, Single Over 30 Lady!

In my last post, I shared about Debra who falls too fast for emotionally unavailable men, pursues them, and then they leave.

And, I shared why she makes the mistake of chasing me and giving her heart away to them when they haven’t proven they are worthy of her affection: she believes the lie that men won’t pursue women, even if the men are interested.

I also said that today I would share 10 dangerous reasons women fall for men too fast. Can you relate to one or more of these reasons.

1. Chemistry. Research shows that the brain actually changes when someone feels like they are "in love.” In fact, it’s been compared to being under the influence of cocaine. It’s that strong!

Some women have a particular “type” and when they meet a man who meets their vision of their dream guy, they quickly fall “in love” because of the influence of chemistry. This emotional high will wear off, of course, so...

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One Reason He May Not Be Pursuing You


Debra has gotten her heart broken by numerous men, so she reached out to me for help. She said she wanted coaching because she noticed a pattern in her dating life: she would meet a man, immediately fall for him, and then he would leave her.

Initially, he might give her enough emotional attention to make her think he was really interested. But then after months of playing a dating “cat and mouse game,” he would finally pull away for good and she would get hurt.

“I get attached really fast. I’m very loyal. When I give my heart away, I give it all. There’s no middle ground for me,” she said. Debra believes it’s a good thing, to be “all in” with a man—and it is.

At the right time.

But when a woman chases a man by sharing how she feels too soon before he has shown he is genuinely interested, when she calls or texts or shows up at his house when he hasn’t given signs of interest, when she tries to push the...

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This Will Ruin a Woman's Chance at Love (Seriously!)

Let’s face it. Love can feel scary. 

From the time you’re in elementary school and you hope that that special boy will put a Valentine in your box, to when you’re 30, 40, 50, or 60 and you’re dating, being emotionally vulnerable can feel frightening. 

Last week, I had free, one-on-one coaching sessions
 with three lovely women: One in her 60s; one in her 50s; and one in her 40s. And, although they didn’t say, “Love is scary” I knew that they feel that it is. How do I know? 

Because they reject themselves before a man can reject them. 

Here’s what this looks like:

  • A man smiles at you in the grocery store. He’s handsome. Tall. You blush, look down, and tell yourself, “He wouldn’t be interested in someone like me” so you walk away without even starting a conversation.
  • A man tells your cousin he’d like to get to know you better. You think, “If he got to know me, then he...
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Is He Giving You Mixed Signals? How to Tell If He's Really Interested


Hi, Shana. 

There’s a man I like. We work together and after work we often spend time talking for a few minutes. One night we chatted for an hour or so but he never followed up by asking me out like I hoped he would. 

I thought maybe I wasn’t making it clear that I like him, so I sent him several texts afterward hoping that he would pick up on my interest. He responded, but he still hasn’t ever texted or called me to ask me out. 

I’m confused because if I text him, he responds, and he’ll stand around and talk to me after work, but he has yet to ask me on a date. Now I feel like I’m emotionally attached. What do I do? 


Hi, Tina.

This can be difficult when you feel as if a man is sending you mixed signals. This guy is talking with you, but not moving the dating or relationship ball down the field. What you need is clarity so you can keep your heart from getting more entangled. 

The way you get clarity...

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How to Stop Feeling Awkward Around Men


Hi, Shana.

There’s a guy I like that I keep running into around town. I’ve seen him at the bookstore, the coffee shop, and I’ve run into him on a local hiking trail a couple times.

He’s really handsome, fit, and I think he’s super attractive. But whenever I see him, I feel like a bumbling idiot. I can’t talk. Sometimes I just ignore him because I am so nervous.

How do I get past feeling like I don’t measure up and that he wouldn’t be interested in me so I can actually have a conversation with him?



Hi, Sarah.

My guess is that when you’re around your good friends and family, that you feel relaxed and confident. You might even say you are fun and charming. But then, enter Mister Handsome, and it’s a totally different story.

I get it. I’ve been there.

Here is a mindset shift you can embrace so you don’t—as you say—feel like a “bumbling idiot” whenever you see this guy....

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How Boundaries Can Help You Get the Love You Want

I met Steve in a local bookstore. He struck up a conversation with me in the biography section, and within minutes, he asked me out. I’d been really hurt from a bad breakup eight years before and my heart was locked up so tight no one could get in. But because I wanted to be open and let my wall down for a new, quality man, I said “yes.” 

Steve and I went out a few times and he said he felt we were meant to be together. I didn’t share his affection, but—as I mentioned—I wanted to be open, so rather than set a good boundary and tell him I wasn’t ready to exclusively date, I said “okay.” 

After seeing Steve for four months, he was often irritable and impatient—and he yelled at me now and then. But because I didn’t trust myself to make a good relationship decision after my breakup and because I was afraid of messing things up like I felt I had done in the past, I allowed Steve to set the pace for our...

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Why You Should Date the Man You Like (but who doesn't make you swoon)


Ted Huston, Ph.D., professor at the University of Texas at Austin, says that marriages that begin with romantic bliss and high intensity are particularly divorce-prone because such intensity cannot be maintained.

As you can imagine, this causes big problems when romantic intensity that cannot be maintained, collides with an expectation that it should be maintained, or that it should last forever. 

When a woman believes it must be true love because we quickly feel strong attraction for a man, we are in danger of being disappointed later when infatuation dies. I’ve seen this happen over and over—even with older women.

Emotional and physical intensity at the beginning of a relationship are no guarantee that a relationship is good or that two people should be together.

In the book, “The Truth About Love,” by Patricia Love, Dr. Huston notes that happier couples don’t consider the end of infatuation a crushing blow, but rather a “natural...

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The Only 2 Questions You Need to Answer on a First Date (or when you are first meet a man)


Hi, Single Lady! 

Dating can be confusing and with today's expectations about finding a soul mate, immediately knowing if a man is "the one" and the fears that surround not getting getting hurt in a relationship, first dates and first meetings with men can be fraught with anxiety. In this video, I talk about the only two questions you need to answer on a first date or when you first meet a man.  

This clip is taken from Smart Single Women Club, where single women like you get their most pressing dating and relationship questions answered LIVE.


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How Not to Appear Needy and Clingy to a Man


A couple days ago, I posted a meme on Facebook that said:

“Showing emotional and feminine vulnerability gives masculine men the opportunity to protect, care for, and comfort you.”

I also shared that men want to know that their woman needs them.

They don’t want a needy, clingy woman, but they do want a relationship with a woman who can show her tender, vulnerable side when the time is right in the relationship.

One woman commented and said that what I shared is confusing. (I get it! It is confusing!)

She commented, "Your message says a man wants to know his woman needs him, then immediately you say he doesn't want a needy woman. I know what needy and clingy look like, but how do you demonstrate need without being needy?"

Maybe you’ve wondered the same. You want to be open and vulnerable, but you are afraid of being too much. 

Okay, here are a few helps: 

A healthy woman can be emotionally vulnerable, but she isn't desperate. She knows how to...

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