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5 Ways to Tell If a Man is a Safe Date (and avoid Mr. Wrong)


Hey there, Single Lady!

Welcome, welcome to another episode of the Single Over 30 podcast episode! 

When I was single, I had a pattern I repeated several times: I allowed men into my life who weren't emotionally safe.

Why would I do such a thing? Well, there are lots of reasons, such as I didn't want to be judgmental, I didn't trust myself to make a good choice (because of a broken past relationship), and because I didn't know how to recognize a safe date.

If I did know how, I would have been more equipped to date well and avoid unproductive dating that wasn’t getting me anywhere close to the wedding altar. Plus that would have saved me tons of heartbreak.

Maybe you can relate. Be encouraged!

You don't have to shut down your heart out of self-protection or decide you'll never love again because you fear choosing the wrong mate. Instead, you can become equipped to choose well, and when you become equipped, you'll feel more empowered to make a good decision.


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Is It a Red Flag If a Man Talks About His Ex?


Hey there, Single Lady!

Imagine this. . .

You've just met a guy, and you're on your first or second date and you think maybe he could be someone special. It seems like he has a lot of the qualities that you are looking for, but during your date he does something that turns you off—and maybe even makes you a little afraid . . . he mentions his ex.

And maybe he doesn't just mention her, but he says some unpleasant things about her. Is this a red flag? I answer that question in this Single Over 30 episode and give you some tips on what to do during your “he’s talking about her” date.

He’s showing growth and maturity


Is it a red flag that he goes on and on about his ex? This depends upon the context – his heart. You need discernment here to perceive the condition of his heart. If he’s taking accountability for shortcomings in his past relationship and mentions his growth, that is a good sign.


If he has a bitter spirit,...

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How to Invite a Man to Become More Emotionally Available


Hi there, Single Lady!

In the last episode, I talked about how to tell if a man is emotionally available because that’s what many women want. (Maybe you can relate because that's what you want too.)

In this episode, we're digging a little deeper and talking about how to invite a man to become more emotionally available to you. It requires some practices that perhaps you haven't thought of. And, (good news!) my husband joins me to give us a little guidance. He's such a great sport!

Something important to keep in mind


So, you want a man who will not only commit to you but also talks to you about how he feels? Emotional availability is a great thing to want in a relationship because it’s what makes it rewarding, deep, and fun. Inviting a man to open up to you can be tricky because research shows that most men are emotionally unavailable and use fewer words every day.

Most men are not as emotionally connected to themselves and others as women are--even...

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10 Ways to Tell if a Man is Emotionally Available



When I ask women, “What is the top trait that you want in a man?” many of them say they want a man who is emotionally available.

Maybe, like me, you’ve wondered, “What does that even mean?” Great question!

Emotional availability happens on a couple levels: It happens on the readiness level, meaning he is available and ready--to give his heart away and commit to a specific woman. That’s one type of emotional availability.

The second type of emotional availability happens on the communication level meaning that he can share his feelings and emotions with you. Not that he would be like your best girlfriend, able to talk for hours about his feelings as MOST men are not wired this way, but that he can—when needed—connect with his feelings and when he feels safe, share his feelings with you.

Desiring a man who is emotionally available on both the readiness and communication levels is a good thing—as it’s...

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6 Ways to Tell When a Man is Breadcrumbing You


There are many modern dating and relationship terms floating around out there: flea bagging, catch and release, cushioning, gaslighting, and benching, just to name a few.

In this episode, we’re focusing on one common dating behavior: breadcrumbing.

If you wonder if you’re being breadcrumbed, if you’re curious if breadcrumbing has ever happened to you or if you wonder how to recognize it, check out this episode.

It’s empowering because it will help you truly weed out the men who are truly interested in you from the men who aren’t so you can attract that trustworthy, marriage-minded man.

Something important to remember.


You are not alone. If you’ve been breadcrumbed, it’s not about you. It doesn’t mean you’re not valuable or worthy of being loved. It doesn’t mean that you’re rejectable or that no man is ever going to want you.

In fact, breadcrumbing is a well-documented pattern of behavior.


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How to Spot an Online Dating Scammer


Hey there, Awesome Single Lady!

In the recent months, I have worked with women to help them spot online dating scams—or what some people call a “romance scam.” 

According to the FTC, a romance scam, is “when a person gets tricked into believing they’re in a romantic relationship with someone they met online.”

In fact, their other half is a cybercriminal using a fake identity to gain enough of their victim’s trust to ask — or blackmail — them for money.

Sounds completely yucky, right? Like who wants to put themselves in a position to even be scammed?

The good news is that no one and I mean no one has to be scammed when they are informed, and they know what to look for. 

You can completely avoid these men online. The women I have coached who have met men online for serious relationships have done that very thing and no one has been duped. 

In this Single Over 30 episode, I share what to look  for...

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Why Conversations Die on Dating Apps


Hey there Single Lady!

You meet a man online and you connect. The next thing you know, the conversation dies and he disappears. Why does it always seem that you have a hard time keeping the conversation going? Why do men disappear and what can you do about it? I answer those questions in this episode. I hope you are encouraged!

If you'd like to learn more about my proven, 4-step strategy that  I have used to help my clients attract quality men online who share their values (in 6 months or less without settling), just send me an email at [email protected] and let me know you'd like more info. I'll set up a free, 15-minute Discovery Call with you to see if we both think this strategy is a good fit for you.

Show Notes


Online communication has its share of troubles, right? One of the biggest problems is keeping the conversation going. You may ask a man questions, but he may not try to keep the verbal tennis game on. Why does this happen?


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What to Say to Him When He Just Wants to Hang Out

What do you do—or say—to a man when he says he just wants to hang out? Maybe you’ve been seeing one another exclusively, or you have been dating casually. Regardless, he says he’s not interested, but he still wants to be your bud. How should you handle it? 

I answer that question in this episode.

Define Your Relationship Goals


A first step to decide if you want to hang out with a man or not is to clarify what you want. If you want to be married or be in a committed relationship, be honest with yourself. Write down what you want and ask yourself what you would like your relationship life to look like in in six, twelve, or eighteen months. 


If a man doesn’t want a relationship with you, why would you still be with him, especially if you want a man who wants to be committed? 

Are you being honest with yourself?


Ask yourself: Am I being honest? Sometimes even if we don’t want to just hang out with a man,...

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What You Need to Know About Him by the 3rd Date

The third date. Ahhh. . .this is when you might start to feel nervous because you have gone out with him once, twice, and now you’re starting to feel pressure. This is the third date! Maybe you feel as if you need to decide what “this is," where it’s going and how you feel. 

In this Single Over 30 episode, I share what you should know by the end of the third date (whether it’s virtual or in-person) and I share what you don’t need to concern yourself with by the end of the third date.

This episode will definitely take the pressure off as you get to know a man, I promise.  

What You Don’t Need to Worry About


You don’t need to know if he is the one you are looking for, if you want to be with him forever or if he is the most attractive man alive. Those questions can be answered later, further down the line in your relationship. Remember, relationships are built over time.

What You Should and Shouldn’t Know


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Shana's Fast 5: Secrets of Dating and Singleness

 Hi, Single Lady! 

My husband knows most things about me, but there are some things that he doesn't know, such as how my single life was before I married him when I was 46. So, in this special episode of the Single Over 30 podcast, I invited my husband to join me for "Fast 5." 

Clark asks me 5 questions about my life before we tied the knot to help you learn how to encourage you about attracting a trustworthy, marriage-minded man and avoid many of the common unproductive dating patterns that can keep even the best woman stuck. 

I hope you are encouraged! 

Remember that the dream that you have to love--and be loved--is possible. 

To find out if you are a good candidate for my Single Over 30 Relationship School or for 1x1 coaching, visit singleover30.net and click on "coaching" on the top menu. 

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For a chance for your question to be answered in a vlog or blog, send it to: [email protected] with "QUESTION" in the subject line.  I look forward to hearing from you!