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What You Need to Know About Him by the 3rd Date

The third date. Ahhh. . .this is when you might start to feel nervous because you have gone out with him once, twice, and now you’re starting to feel pressure. This is the third date! Maybe you feel as if you need to decide what “this is," where it’s going and how you feel. 

In this Single Over 30 episode, I share what you should know by the end of the third date (whether it’s virtual or in-person) and I share what you don’t need to concern yourself with by the end of the third date.

This episode will definitely take the pressure off as you get to know a man, I promise.  

What You Don’t Need to Worry About

[01:37]

You don’t need to know if he is the one you are looking for, if you want to be with him forever or if he is the most attractive man alive. Those questions can be answered later, further down the line in your relationship. Remember, relationships are built over time.

What You Should and Shouldn’t Know

[02:25]

Character isn’t just something a man says about himself but it’s what he does. Even the time between dates can be beneficial to determine a man's reliability based on his actions as you get to know him. 

Bad Third Date Rule

[05:27]

The third date rule, which is widely circulated online and is harmful states that both parties must hold off on having sex until at least the third date, when a pair can engage in sexual activity without being concerned about getting dumped. This is faulty thinking and in this episode, I explain why. 

Finding the Right Man

[07:32]

One of the ways you can find the right man is through your boundaries. Having boundaries for a longer period than 3 dates will let you know where a man stands with you and where you stand with him. The five dating and relationship stages are acquaintance, friendship, exclusive dating, engagement, and marriage. These stages give context for what you need to know by the end of the third date and help you take the pressure off again.

Not Worrying After First Date

[10:42]

Some women don’t want to worry about what’s after the first date because they want to avoid the discomfort or insecurity that comes with dating. But again, if you rush because of this, insecurity or anxiety could cause you to miss important things about a man you will regret not knowing later.

Things That You Should Concern Yourself

[12:08]

The first thing you must determine is whether a man shares your core beliefs and deal-breakers. For instance, you're seeking for a man who follows to your specific religion. By the end of the third date, you want to be certain that he agrees with your core belief. 

[16:34]

Next, you need to answer some important questions such as: “Do I just enjoy being with this man?” “Do I feel physically and emotionally safe?” These are questions you can ask yourself on date one.

Because people are nervous on the first date, the conversation can be uncomfortable and tricky. So if you feel physically and emotionally safe and have a decent conversation, go out a second time. By the end of the third date, you can ask yourself, “Do I feel like I can be myself with this person?” If the answer is no, evaluate why.

Learn more at https://singleover30.net/

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/single-over-30/id1555536184

Learn more about Shana’s Coaching at https://www.shanaschuttecoaching.com

Schedule your Free Session at https://www.shanaschuttecoaching.com/request-breakthrough-call

 

 

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