There are many modern dating and relationship terms floating around out there: flea bagging, catch and release, cushioning, gaslighting, and benching, just to name a few.
In this episode, we’re focusing on one common dating behavior: breadcrumbing.
If you wonder if you’re being breadcrumbed, if you’re curious if breadcrumbing has ever happened to you or if you wonder how to recognize it, check out this episode.
It’s empowering because it will help you truly weed out the men who are truly interested in you from the men who aren’t so you can attract that trustworthy, marriage-minded man.
Something important to remember.
You are not alone. If you’ve been breadcrumbed, it’s not about you. It doesn’t mean you’re not valuable or worthy of being loved. It doesn’t mean that you’re rejectable or that no man is ever going to want you.
In fact, breadcrumbing is a well-documented pattern of behavior.
You’ve got more power than you may realize.
As a woman you have a lot of power in your dating life—perhaps more power than you realize.
If you want to know more about that power and how to attract a quality man without wasting time on men who won’t be good to you—or for you—send me an email at [email protected] to see if dating coaching would be a good fit for you. I’d love to help you.
The more you know about breadcrumbing and other forms of unproductive dating patterns, it can help you become more equipped to attract the right kind of man into your life.
What is breadcrumbing?
Breadcrumbing is the passive aggressive tactic that consists of quote “dropping breadcrumbs” in place of real, genuine, communication that is intentional. It’s the act of sending out sometimes flirtatious, but non-committal social signals to lure someone in without expending much effort. In other words, it's leading someone on.
Breadcrumbing creates a lot of ambiguity and is therefore confusing.
Here are 6 signs that reveal that a man is breadcrumbing you.
He's vague with his plans.
If a man he tells you he’s busy, that’s understandable.
But if he's consistently, intentionally vague about his schedule, it may mean that he is holding you at a distance for some other reason of which you are unaware.
It’s only your responsibility to respond to what he is doing and remember that a man who is truly interested will make a move to take your relationship to the next level by making plans with you. He won’t be vague.
He waits forever (or a long time) to respond to your messages.
Let me make a caveat that there are times when we all have things going on in our lives and we forget to message someone back, call someone back, or text someone back.
But if a man is consistently taking a long time to answer your messages, or if he does answer, then he doesn’t answer for a long time, it’s a good sign that you’re being breadcrumbed. A breadcrumbers
You can't remember the last time you went on a real date with him.
He may say things like "I'll see if we can do something this weekend" or "Maybe we'll get together sometime soon," but when asked if there's anything specific in mind, he's quick to dodge the question or say that he doesn't know yet.
Your conversations are surface level.
If you find yourself having the same conversation over and over, it could be breadcrumbing because he doesn’t want to go deeper with you.
He comes in and out of your life.
If you’re really interested, this can keep hope alive that maybe he has finally figured it out and he really is interested.
You feel like he's keeping you around "just in case."
A man who is truly interested in you should treat you like a priority, not an option. If the relationship has been going on for a while and he doesn't seem to be really into it, it could be that he's just keeping you around "just in case."
You deserve more than breadcrumbs.
You deserve to be treated like a priority, not a crumb.
You are worthy of someone who makes time for you and shows affection for you on a regular—and consistent--basis. If a man doesn't treat you this way, then he isn't your guy.
Remember, every minute that you’re with Mr. Wrong, you’re not with Mister right.
Is he manipulating you?
If you'd like more information on how to tell if a man is manipulating you, check out Episode 83: How to Tell If a Man is Manipulating You.
Listen—and learn more--on Apple Music: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1555536184
Learn more about Shana’s Coaching: https://www.shanaschuttecoaching.com
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