I want to increase my opportunities to find a mate. I feel I should be more open to men I may not find the most attractive at first, because there may be an opportunity for attraction to grow. If I’m not immediately attracted to a man, I have a hard time communicating with him or going out with him. How do I overcome this as I am aware that I could be missing out on some potentials.
Hi, Miss A.
This is a great question and an important one because attraction can be confusing. The first way to begin being more open so you don’t miss out on a good man who could be your Mister, is to change your perspective about how a good relationship can develop.
To help with a this change of perspective, here are some questions to honestly ask yourself.
As you think about the above questions, I am not suggesting you shouldn’t be attracted to the man you marry. However, be careful not to assume that a relationship couldn’t be good if you don’t immediately feel a high level of physical attraction.
You don’t need to be physically blown away by a man to be very happy and fulfilled.
We experience fulfillment in our heart when someone touches our heart and that happens with more than just the physical. When two hearts connect it brings relational satisfaction into our lives. No man can touch your heart with a physical connection because you cannot fill the soul with the flesh.
I also invite you to consider that sometimes women get physical attraction and just not liking a man confused. (This happened to me!) Sometimes a woman will feel that she isn’t physically attracted to a man, when she isn’t attracted to him as a person. She just doesn’t like him. He’s not someone she would enjoy spending time with. He’s not the kind of man who could be a good friend.
You should never try to force yourself to like a man as a person who could never be a good friend. You should really enjoy being with the man you marry.
However, you also don’t want to assume that an instant high level of sexual chemistry is proof that a relationship is worth pursuing.
A relationship is made up of many parts and attraction happens on many levels. It happens on the emotional, physical, spiritual, and intellectual levels. Attraction can develop with a man that you really like, love being with, and respect. Be careful not to put too much weight on the physical when first meeting or you could miss out on really great guy who would love and adore you.
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