Maybe you’re asking, “Really? Are words that big of a deal to men?”
Yes, they are a really big deal because the words you use can convey respect to a man—or not—and respect is a core need for men.
Men (Capital M.E.N) have the desire to protect and care for their woman. They want to be seen as competent. They want to be seen as the hero. And, the words you use with your man will either reaffirm that he is your hero and that you really respect him. Or, if you use the wrong words, you will show him that you don’t respect him, and--much to your demise—you will tear down your relationship.
Listen up. This is really important: If a woman doesn’t know how to use words to show respect to a man, she will repel him instead of draw him to her.
In this post, I want to share words you can use to draw a man to you.
You can use some of these words or phrases early in a relationship, and you can use others later on—even after you’re married.
Even if you’re not seeing anyone right now, you can practice using these words to speak to your man’s need for respect. You can use them with your brother, neighbor, dad, or good friend so you’ll be even more prepared for a great relationship.
Using the phrases or words I will share in this post doesn’t mean you are being a doormat. And, it doesn’t mean you’re being manipulative.
But, what it does mean is that you are being a woman of grace—a classy woman—who knows how to speak to the part of her man that needs to be respected. You’re actually acknowledging that his desire for respect is how he has been created.
Remember, respect is to a man what love is to a woman. When you use your words respectfully, you are giving a man what he needs. And when you do that, he will be much happier with you and he will be drawn to you. What woman doesn’t want that?
One key truth to remember is that a man who values you will want to make you happy. Your approval will be important to him.
That said, it’s crucial to keep in mind that using words of respect with a unkind or selfish man doesn’t mean he will be instantly transformed into someone who honors and cherishes you. You can’t change a man’s core character with the words you use.
But what it does mean is that you can speak to a man’s need for respect which will draw him to you more.
The right words of respect are what I call “Man Magnet Phrases.” In using these phrases, you can build up your relationship with him and get more of the love you want. (Great news, right?!)
This is important information because sometimes we women can get in trouble with our mouths. We can be quicker with our tongues than men are. So, you want to use your words in a way that is uplifting to him and reaffirming your respect of him.
So, with much ado. . .here are some phrases you can use to let a guy know that he's succeeding with you, that he's making you happy, and that you respect him.
“Wow! You always come up with the best solutions.”
When you use this phrase, you’re acknowledging that you believe he is capable. This shows a man that you respect him.
“Thank you so much for being my hero. I would not have been able to figure that out without you or do it without your help. You are such a great guy.”
Again, you’re showing that you believe he is able, which shows him that you respect him as a MAN.
“Thank you for taking care of me [or treating me, or looking out for me.]”
When you see something he does that is helpful, let him know that you appreciate it. He will appreciate your appreciation.
“How did I get so blessed to have a man like you in my life?”
With this phrase, you’re letting him know that you think he stands out from other men. This is a huge compliment.
“You know, you were absolutely right about that.”
Again, here you’re stating that you respect his opinion and thoughts. This is a huge honor for a man.
“I trust you.”
This is important because a man will want to know that you trust him and that you feel safe with him.
“Will you help me fix ___________?”
When you ask for his help, what you’re really saying is, “I trust you. I see you as competent.”
Sometimes women have problems asking for help. We think, “I don’t want to ask for help if I can do it myself.” But listen up: It’s not about your competence or confidence. It’s about being gracious and speaking to the heart of your man to show your admiration, respect, and trust. It’s about being a gift.
Here are some more:
“I am so proud of you.”
“You're such a gentleman. “
“You make me feel safe.”
“Thank you for caring for me.”
“I trust your judgment, so I’d like to ask you about _____________.”
“I admire you.”
“I respect your character.”
“You are so talented. I am amazed.”
“You are so good to me.”
“My life is so much better with you in it.”
“You are the first real man I've met in a long time.
“I admire _________about you.”
“I’d love to ask your advice about something.”
“Thank you for sacrificing for me.”
“Thank you for serving me. You make me really happy.”
All of these phrases let a man know that he is truly a man for you—which is what he loves to hear!
Alright, so now that you know that a man wants to be seen as competent and he wants to know that he can please you and make you happy, and that ne NEEDS your respect, what are some words or phrases you can come up with on your own to either use in a current relationship, or share with other men in your life?
I challenge you to write down just a few and try them out. Then pay attention to how the men respond. You’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Remember, I am grateful for you, and the dream you have to love—and be loved—really is possible.
Your dating and relationship coach,
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