> Do This so You Don't Waste Time on the Wrong Men
Home Coaching Podcast About Shana GET STARTED NOW Login

How to Attract a Trustworthy, Marriage-Minded Man (Part 1)

Attracting a quality guy is like having a fence around your yard. This fence has a gate. You can’t control what type of men approach your gate, but you can control the type of men you let in the gate.  

This happens by having good dating boundaries—and these good boundaries will help you attract a trustworthy, marriage-minded man.   

Boundaries of all kinds send a clear message to men that you’re not interested in playing games, that you’re not just up for a good time or a hook up, and that you’re not willing to be taken advantage of.

Good boundaries come from having a strong dating plan. And this plan informs how you interact with men. When you have good boundaries, you can be feminine, but strong. 

With good boundaries, you can be kind, but also let men know that you’ve got standards.  

Here’s the great thing about good boundaries: they will help you weed out men who aren’t marriage minded and aren’t serious about a relationship—and help you attract quality men who will respect you and adore you.

Here’s something key. . . good boundaries are rooted in two things:   

First, self-respect

When you get to the place that your self-respect trumps your desire to have a man in your life, you won’t do what I call “desperate dating.”

You won’t allow men to move your physical or emotional boundaries.

You won’t allow men to manipulate you so they can get what they want.

You won’t allow men to give you crumbs while you give your heart away.

When you’re serious about what you want and you know your value, you won’t allow the wrong kind of men to waste your time.

Next, good boundaries are rooted in the truth that good men aren’t in short supply.

I hear from the women that I coach all the time that they dated a particular man—or men—they know wasn’t good for them, but they did it because they were afraid of being alone. They were afraid that they wouldn’t ever meet anyone. They were convinced that men were in short supply.

(It certainly seems like that, doesn’t it? But it’s not true! There are millions of available, good men in the United States and around the world. It’s an issue of knowing how to weed through the men who won’t be good for you or to you to get to the good men.)

Listen up, friend. Here’s the problem with thinking there aren’t any good men anywhere: 

If you think you won’t be able to find a good man, the kind of man who will love you and care for you, you may be tempted to settle.  Then, you’ll pretty much allow men who aren’t good for you to come through the gate and walk right into your life.

In short, you’ll get the type of man that you ask for.

Don’t do it. You’re worth more than that.

Instead, grab onto self-respect and hope.

Remember you are worthy of being loved and that it is possible to find a trustworthy, marriage-minded man.

Your dating and relationship coach,


P.S. Check out my free, 5-day Online Dating Challenge. Even if you're not online dating now, if you tried it and it didn't work, if the thought of it scares you, or you think that there aren't good men online, this Challenge is definitely for you! Check it out. 

Join over 15,000 quality, single women who have dedicated themselves finding a quality, marriage-minded man they can trust.

Sign up for Single Over 30 emails to receive weekly dating and relationship advice.


50% Complete

Get Your Biggest Dating or Relationship Questions Answered

Sign up to receive free dating and relationship advice right to your in-box!

For a chance for your question to be answered in a vlog or blog, send it to: [email protected] with "QUESTION" in the subject line.  I look forward to hearing from you!