You Can Date with Confidence and Clarity: More on the 5 Stages that Lead to the Wedding Altar
Hi, Single Over 30 Lady!
Good news! The 5 Stages That Lead to the Wedding Altar aren’t confusing because they’re pretty obvious:
1) Acquaintances
2) Friendship
3) Exclusive Dating
4) Engagement
5) Marriage
Pretty straightforward, right?
But it’s not the stages that are the problem, it’s knowing how to navigate the stages, and understanding the behaviors that should go in each stage that is often confusing. (Believe me, I’ve been there!)
For example, do any of the following questions sound familiar?
- How do I tell if he is serious about me?
- Should I ask him if he is serious about me?
- How long should I know a man before we exclusively date?
- What should I know about a man before we exclusively date?
- What do I do if my expectations and the stage of the relationship don’t match?
- How do I keep my desires in check while I wait for the relationship to unfold?
- How do I know when to move from friendship to exclusive dating?
- What are some signs the relationship is healthy enough to move to exclusive dating?
- What do I do if the men I meet want to quickly become exclusive?
- How do I let a guy know I am interested but I want to go slow without friend-zoning him?
- What do I do if the man I am seeing doesn’t seem to want to move to engagement, even though we have been dating for quite some time?
- How do I meet more men so that I can experience the 5 Stages and marry?
- How do I know I am ready to get married?
- How should I respond to a man if I get ghosted?
- What do I do if I can’t find anyone I am attracted to so I want to exclusively date?
- How important is chemistry in each stage and when should I know I am attracted to a man?
- When should I kiss or man or become physically involved?
There are sooooo many questions and dating challenges within these five stages. But the stages don’t have to be confusing.
I’ll be sharing more about this in my upcoming course that I am releasing next month for you, The 5 Stages That Lead to the Wedding Altar: Dating with Confidence and Clarity.
But for today, I want to share an email I received from Sarah.
“Shana, I have gone out with a guy a few times and I really like him. It was my birthday last week. He knew it was my birthday and he didn’t call to tell me Happy Birthday or invite me out. I told him I was really disappointed.”
Sarah,
It makes sense you would be disappointed, especially when it sounds as if you really like this man and you want to see the relationship become more serious.
It makes sense that you wanted him to do something special for you for your birthday, but that’s not where you are in your relationship at this time.And the reason I know it’s not is because he hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend yet. He hasn't stated his intentions.
You are still in the friendship stage in which you are casually dating. And, having an expectation of him for him to do something special for you on your birthday belongs in the girlfriend—or exclusive dating—stage, and not in the friendship stage where you both currently are.
When a woman’s desires get ahead of a man’s intentions and ahead of the current stage of the relationship, she may unknowingly place expectations on a man that he isn’t ready to fulfill, and that can make a man feel pressured.
And, it might even make him want to end the relationship before it even gets started. (Like when you told him you were disappointed, even though I know you weren’t trying to pressure him.)
A better strategy is to try to keep your intentions, actions, and desires in line with the stage of the relationship.And you will know which stage you are in when both of you have clear communication about which stage you are in.
I know this is difficult when you are ready for love, but this dating strategy will serve you well, I promise!
Alright, Single Over 30 Lady, I hope this has been helpful for you! I’ll be sharing more free information about the 5 stages in the upcoming weeks, and also about my course, “5 Stages That Lead to the Wedding Altar: Dating with Clarity and Conviction."
Grateful for you!
Remember, the dream you have to love and be loved is possible.
Shana
P.S. Sometimes dating can be filled with conflict and misunderstanding between the sexes. On Sunday night, October 27, at 7:00 PM Mountain Time, I will be doing a Facebook Live on How to Handle Conflict in Dating when you and a man are not on the same page about what you want.
I hope to see you there! Here’s the link to join me then: https://www.facebook.com/SingleOver30/
Grateful for you!
Remember, the dream you have to love and be loved is possible.
Shana
P.S. Sometimes dating can be filled with conflict and misunderstanding between the sexes. On Sunday night, October 27, at 7:00 PM Mountain Time, I will be doing a Facebook Live on How to Handle Conflict in Dating when you and a man are not on the same page about what you want.
I hope to see you there! Here’s the link to join me then: https://www.facebook.com/SingleOver30/
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